Codependency is a psychological condition in which a person has a preoccupation and unreasonable dependence on another person. A codependent relationship can be emotional, social, or physical. Although codependency is often associated with addiction, it can also happen outside of substance abuse. Overcoming codependency often requires professional help from an addiction treatment center in New Jersey.
The main idea behind codependency is that a person who is taking care of another person often neglects to take care of themselves. This dynamic between two people often leads to a volatile relationship. If left untreated, a couple is likely to separate eventually, with one person feeling unfulfilled or even manipulated and used. Overcoming dependency is possible. Let’s look at how to break free.
Overcoming Codependency: Ways to Break the Cycle
There are some personal strategies that you can use to end codependency without ending the relationship. Some of these strategies include:
The closer a relationship becomes, the more boundaries you need to set to keep the relationship happy. Boundaries may include:
- Don’t ignore your spouse
- Be willing to engage in sex
- Avoid physical abuse
- Speak positively about your spouse in public
- Don’t keep secrets
- Talk to your spouse in a calmly without shouting
These are basic boundaries that apply to most relationships, but also help you with overcoming codependency. You may also discover other boundaries that apply specifically to your relationship. Your boundaries should be clear and well-communicated. Discuss healthy boundaries with your therapist during your addiction treatment program.
Take Care of Yourself
You hear it all the time: “Take care of yourself.” However, many people do not practice self-care. As a result, they often fall into traps that can hurt their health and emotional state. In the case of codependency, failure to take care of yourself keeps you from effectively taking care of others.
Self-care can involve a wide range of things that include eating right, going to the gym, creating a work-life balance, and establishing boundaries in your relationship. Remember, you are partly responsible for being in a codependent relationship. Therefore, you must be responsible for taking care of yourself.
Learn to Live Independently
If you feel like you always need to be around your partner and can’t stand being alone, then it is time to learn how to be independent. In other words, you need to depend on yourself for your own fulfillment. This can have a positive effect on your health, emotional state, finances, and even your relationship.
Your partner may come to have more respect for you if you are not clinging onto them emotionally. You will also have more respect for yourself. Do yourself a favor and schedule some alone time. At first, you may feel uncomfortable or unstable. However, the more independent you become, the stronger you become. You can learn how to live more independently as you go through your outpatient addiction treatment program.
Be Realistic with Your Expectations
If you place unrealistic expectations in your relationship, you are likely to be disappointed time and again. Disappointment may make you feel like the other person is letting you down. However, you may need to assess if you’ve set the bar too high for anyone one person to succeed in the relationship.
Part of the reason why your expectations are so high is that you are placing all of your happiness in the other person. As a result, when they make a mistake, you may be devastated, wondering what is going on with the relationship. Learn to be happy with yourself before you burden someone else with unreasonable expectations.
Get Help for Addiction at Victory Bay
Do you need help with addiction? If so, Victory Bay is here to help. Learn more about overcoming codependency and addiction at our addiction rehab center in New Jersey. Call 855.259.1624 to get started with your treatment today.